No one likes to talk about this. Especially in business.
The expectation we have that life will only get better, and that business will too, sometimes gets crushed after hitting a peak success and following it up with a struggle right after.
How do we deal with the lows and the lulls that turn up after the best things that happen to us, especially if we’re worried nothing else will ever be so good?
This note is for anyone that’s ever found themselves in a downward pattern where the old solutions just aren’t working anymore. Here are a few things to keep in mind. (You’ll see an upswing when you do.)
1) You might be defensive, and you probably are.
Success teaches us we are “right”. So, when results show us we might be wrong, or if someone gives us contradicting advice, we might get our feathers ruffled. There’s a fine line between confidence and ego. We need to surrender the need to be right during the times we’re looking to get back to the upswing. At first, our ego will try to fight the truth. If we’re struggling, though, we need to find the student within and look to those people who have already got this piece of the puzzle sorted out. We need each other! And that’s a good thing.
2) That was only the best thing you ever had… yet.
Loss can seem harmful. However, since life delivers itself in cycles, we can be assured that loss is natural and healthy. Seasons change. Moon phases change. We can only juggle a handful of experiences at once, and so, if it’s time to add something new to the mix, we might experience unwanted loss. The clue about what’s coming next is in remembering the cyclical nature of life. What felt like the best thing will eventually be replaced by something even better.
3) You are in charge of the speed with which the lull or lows pass.
Most of us process thoughts about change with a past-focus. We look back reflectively and generate emotions based on whether we found circumstances to be happy or unhappy.
Modern life supports us in doing this because our society is influenced deeply by the assumptions of psychology. As a discipline, psychology asks us to analyze our inner worlds and outer results as they are shaped by our past experiences. If you focus on the past, though, you will slow down your journey through the lulls and the lows, and find yourself in place of chronic disappointment.
Present focus is an amazing solution; miracles lie in the present moment, and so does all our power and happiness. Meditation, laughter, and time spent in nature are all simple ways that help us develop presence.
A present focus with an eye for the future gives us the greatest speed; we achieve this by setting an intention. Intentions are clear statements about our authentic heartfelt dreams and desires. Action steps taken towards dreams and desires clear away the muck that would otherwise slow us down.
Can you be reflective about the past AND be present with a future focus? Yes. This is about proportion. You can take the time you need to process what’s happened as long as you’re also doing the work of getting present and moving towards your intention.
4) You can never lose what is truly yours.
“The best thing” is never gone when it’s yours. Remember, nature operates in cycles and so do we. Perhaps a cycle took something away… for now. If you still want it or love it, it will come back to you in some way, shape, or form – but first, you do have to let it go. Think of the space between now and the future as a space for healing.
Just like you yourself weren’t abandoning your business or your loved ones during times that you were in bed sick with flu, you yourself haven’t been abandoned by what you want or love. Think of it as temporary healing time for you, for your business, for whoever else is involved, or maybe even for the entire world.
The trick is to do what you would if you really were home sick with the flu; attachment as a thought process does mimic a virus. It’s contagious and pervasive. It diminishes when your heart and spirit strengthen…. when you’re happy, full of love, and satisfied. You might be down (for now), but take care of yourself. Your focus on feeling better bears more gifts for the betterment of your business and life than anything you could be doing otherwise.
